$4000

That's how much your eggs are worth ladies.

Aww, isn't potential cheating sweet?

Alternate title: Song a like with lyrics I hate.

I'm torn as to whether add my comments or let the song speak for itself. It's a popular enough song. It has been featured on Shrek and your local radio station. Have you paid attention to the lyrics? Lack of communication, cheating personal ad, ageism... all wrapped up neatly into one song. Enjoy.

Escape Lyrics
Artist(Band):Jimmy Buffett

I was tired of my lady, we'd been together too long.
Like a worn-out recording, of a favorite song.
So while she lay there sleeping, I read the paper in bed.
And in the personals columns, there was this letter I read:

"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
If you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain.
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.
I'm the love that you've looked for, write to me, and escape."

I didn't think about my lady, I know that sounds kind of mean.
But me and my old lady, had fallen into the same old dull routine.
So I wrote to the paper, took out a personal ad.
And though I'm nobody's poet, I thought it wasn't half-bad.

"Yes, I like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne.
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon, and cut through all this red tape.
At a bar called O'Malley's, where we'll plan our escape."

So I waited with high hopes, then she walked in the place.
I knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face.
It was my own lovely lady, and she said, "Oh, it's you."
And we laughed for a moment, and I said, "I never knew"..

"That you liked Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
And the feel of the ocean, and the taste of champagne.
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes on the cape.
Then you're the love that I've looked for, come with me, and escape."

"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
If you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain.
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.
I'm the love that you've looked for, come with me, and escape."

My Failed Narcissistic Marriage (with commentary!)

Click Here to Read.

A gem if I've ever seen one. Comments are written by the last psychiatrist and the original article was written by Sandra Tsing Loh.

Simon's Cat: "Fly Guy"

Weeeee! There's a new Simon's Cat out. Enjoy y'all! ^_^



It's things like this that make be both glad that I no longer have any cats, and still miss having them. Except mine caught spiders instead of flies. And yes, if they see you as top dog cat, they will give you their fresh killed food. It's a sign of respect, so you should appreciate it. (Though I wouldn't suggest eating it unless you're in dire need of some extra protein.)

Visit their website here.

Thing I want to write a post on, but didn't because I was in bed for 11 hours...

Here's the links... more to come later (I hope!).

strange-sex-ed-tools-from-around-the-world

how-much-has-changed-for-women-of

New Markets, New Media

Sexy and the Gender Binary

Romance or Stalking?

1957 vs. 2007

So I got this e-mail forward from my dad the other day. Usually these types of e-mail are only good for a quick laugh at best, mild annoyance at filling up my inbox at worst. However, this one kinda stuck out to me. It compares our legal response to student's actions; how we would've responded in 1957 compared to 2007 (today essentially). Yes, some of them are skewed a bit one way or another, and I'm not trying to imply that these course of events would always take place, but... the twist that I'm putting on this forward is that, for as many as I can find legit sources for, I'm going to cite a similar incident that received the same type of response as stated in the forward. These were not provided with the forward, and come directly from me (life experiences), the blogs I read, and the almighty google. What may have seemed funny and obscure at first will now be brought into a much sharper focus. Caution: It may make you think and question the different means of punishment we've used over the years. We're/are things really that bad/good?

HIGH SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007



Scenario 1:

Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.


1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Ah guns. I don't have any stories of my own to share on this subject. Just a wish that people could learn to use a gun responsibly and need not assume that if someone has a gun in their car, that they're planing to kill you and/or others with it.

Scenario 2:

Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2007 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged them with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.

My grandmother wrote a story with a similar theme a few months ago. Two boys were having confrontations and one slammed the other into a locker. A teacher then took the boys aside and supervised them as they wrestled out their differences on the mat. The "underdog" used brains along with a little brawn to defeat the other boy (without seriously hurting him) and then the two became friends. She was reprimanded by her teacher for having a teacher in her story who allowed the boys to fight. The thinking is that this isn't something boys should read about in a children's book. I disagree. I'm not saying that fighting is necessarily always the best solution, but under the circumstances presented in this short story, I think it was a valid solution that worked out best in the end. If I can find the story and get my grandmother's permission, I'll post a link to the story later so you can read and decide for yourself.

Scenario 3:

Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.


1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.

This is a cynical way of looking at it. Students who legitimately have ADD need the help of medication in order to function properly. Not to be zombied out, just to focus. I has several friends who fit this situation and would've probably have been spanked as in the 1957 scenario because of not be treated appropriately. However, I do also think they is over medication of children in some cases where simple discipline, counseling, or other alternative treatment would be the best course of action. The hard part is knowing how to tell the difference.

Scenario 4:

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car20and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goe to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Ah, the old corporeal punishment debate. Yes, I believe it is a legit way of disciplining children, though I personally wouldn't go farther than a smack on the butt. I find there are more effective means of punishment. (See that game system? Say bye-bye to it. If you can't respect hos windows, you're not going to be able to respect that system we bought for you. Show us otherwise and you'll get it back.)

Scenario 5:

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.


1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.

2007 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Oh this one is ridiculous. One, I don't agree that you should be smoking, especially underage (and this is coming from someone whose smoked, and, for the most part, quit), but the deal with aspirin? Lame. True story: In middle school I once got a huge migraine. The kind where the lights and sounds hurt and make you want to throw up and rip your head off. I did the "right" thing. I went to the nurse's office, told them, and expected to get Tylenol or something for it. Want to know what they did? They left me curled up wish for death on the bench as they called my father who had to drive over from work to personally give me Tylenol. 45 min later I finally got them. Last time I went by the rules for meds. I admit it, I'm one of those "druggies" who kept Tylenol on my person every day from then on. Dad even told me I should do it too, because he agreed it was absurd. So there. Want to jail my father for giving drugs to a minor?

Scenario 6:

Pedro fails high school English.


1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

This bring up several issues, making it much more complicated than it may seem at first glance. This has an under current of social prejudices against Hispanics. Either way though, I think if you live in the USA, you need to be fluent in English. And, I think if you live in areas with a good size population of Spanish speaking individual, do yourself a favor, and learn the language. No matter your race, being bilingual is a highly valuable assent that you can add to your tool belt. This reminds me of a case where a Hispanic student was forced to take English classes at her school and denied graduation when she refused to jump through their prejudiced hoops. She was fluent in English, spoke Spanish at home, and just wanted to be treated as any other student. She was denied graduation for standing up for herself. And I've really really tried to find the link to where I read about this. When I do, I'll put it up here.

Scenario 7:

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed .


1957 - Ants die.

2007 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents --and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

What they forgot to mention is that Johnny is probably poor and/or non-white. Shit like this happens all the time where was should be treated at a minor offense, is blown completely out of proportion to the original crime.

Scenario 8:

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.


1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Interesting that they did the female teacher, male student thing. Usually, it's the other way around that gets blasted in the media. But yeah... teachers have a lot of unfair regulations about what they are legally and technically allowed to do in the classroom. Punish all for the actions of the few. Good going.

This should hit every email inbox to show how stupid we have become!!

I would say... more narrow minded and assuming, judging the many based on the actions of the few, rather than stupid. Not to say there aren't a good number of stupid people causing issues like those stated above.

Healthcare in the USA

Quixote from Shakesville recently made an interesting post about our healthcare system. Click the link to read the full article.

As interesting as the post it, I found DW's comments to be particular enlightening. Yes, there's a bit of rant in there, but many good points are made along the way, like why procedures cost what they do, priorities, and the overall structure of healthcare. (Maybe later I'll go back and underline or bold the main points. I can't right now, cause my lunch is over.) DW is one of the people that works at a doctor's office, doing everything except seeing the patients.

***Edit***
I got the chance to bold and underline some of DW's main points in case you just want to skim it.

DW Yesterday 09:06 PM
Today at work, a patient balked and complained about the cost of her exam and how expensive it was. Granted, $229 is a lot of money. The flip side is that she doesn't know what hubby knows. He's the doctor. He went to school for years and years and years. The kicker is that she is my former hair stylist. A cut and a color ran $180 three years ago when I last saw her. I didn't balk at her prices. She's the professional - I am not. Doctors have been devalued to a great degree. Some patients leave us because we no longer accept their insurance. Some return after seeing how poorly they are treated elsewhere and some return because they realize they get exemplary care from hubby. Some never return, but continue to pay $180 for their hair every eight weeks. It's bizarre. No one would stand for managed hair care, would they?

Lets not even go into the outstanding student loans.


DW Yesterday 09:56 PM
Let me also add that I don't think patients CAN control the cost of healthcare and I'm not sure they would want to. We are much more costly than some physicians and much less than others. We DO get price shopped. And often there is someone willing to see a patient for a lot less. Unfortunately, one must then make their wage on quantity, not quality. Some insurance companies, like Oxford, reimburse us a pittance. Sometimes the copay is more than the insurance company deems the exam worth! Others, like Aetna, pay us roughly four times what Oxford pays. Sometimes, I don't get paid AT ALL by the insurance company and eat it. Or I wait none months and have to spend four hours tracking down claims. And then I eat it. And sometimes we just do the service gratis because the patient needs it and has no resources or is in pain or is otherwise NOT getting this treatment unless we do it gratis. As a rule, we tun no one away because that is not what medicine is about. It is a reality that the patients who can pay do pay as it helps us meet payroll and offset the services we perform gratis. We hope for reforms because this way is truly broken and I get to experience that from a provider's point of view every day.

I had a point when I started this rant...


DW Yesterday 10:02 PM
Actually, Wondering, I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying this system is fucked up. It hurts many doctors as much as it hurts patients. Insurance companies fuck us as much as they fuck patients and should be cut out, or minimized, of the equation. My point was healthcare is NOT a commodity, although it is treated as one. It should be a basic right. When it is treated as a commodity, everyone suffers, especially patients. My point with the hair care comparison was to show how doctors are devalued when it IS treated as a commodity.


DW Yesterday 10:07 PM
...and furthermore, patients are also devalued when healthcare is a commodity. All we want to do is provide and treat and serve. Instead, I get a shit pile of denied claims and insurance company BS routinely. That hurts our patient care because we spend so much damn time chasing claims and making phone calls. Insurance is the ultimate scam. That, to me, is a crying shame.

Gah. Long day at the office.


Yesterday 11:08 PM
Yeah, I'm having a bad explaining day. Sorry. I went off on a riff before I got my explanation out.

I gotta tell ya'll, we work hard. We see every emergency, every everyone who can pay or not. What galls me - GALLS ME - about the hair care comparison is that no one would allow a third party to dictate their hair care but we have our healthcare dictated to us. That is STUPID!!!!!eleventy one to infinity, squared for good measure.

It does piss me off that I would pay someone the ridiculous sum of $180 to cut and color my hair and she would turn around and complain that our service fees were too high. Um, hello? Like, almost equal. Some of the hidden costs doctors bear are rent, utilities, staff, FICA, Medicare tax, worker's comp, disability, malpractice, health insurance for our employees, equipment that allows us to practice at the standard of care, pens, paper, soap, computers, EVERYTHING. If Oxford finally pays us 6 weeks later a whopping $46.50 for an exam I'm lucky. I would love, love love, love, love to just know I was getting x dollars for every single patient that we saw even if x was lower than most of the plans we take now. Often, we don't know what testing plans will cover despite calling them before the exam. And it is pretty hard to do that when you have 6 back to back patients and the insurance company phone tree pretty much guarantees you never get a human being on the line. As a general rule, doctors are NOT business people. Nor should they be. Sign us up for a new system, please.

Thank you for giving me the space to further rant and explain. I am completely stressed out over our office situation and I'm trapped there because I work for peanuts in this family business because we couldn't afford to pay someone else to do what I do which is everything but actually see the patients.

DW Yesterday 11:24 PM
A Sniper - I can explain some of that. As a provider, I MUST bill everyone at the same rate. But each individual contract we sign with individual carriers reimburses us at a different rate. Often, there is a cap on rates for a geographic area. If I set my fees too low, I don't get reimbursed the maximum for my area which, btw, is usually substantially less than the billed amount. I am not permitted to discount based on carrier. Which puts us all in this conundrum. So all those providers bill outrageously high amounts hoping that they will capture the prevailing maximum fee which is ALWAYS less than is billed. The shitty side is that no discount is then applied to the private payor who ends up with the crazy bills. We bill every insurance company $269 for a routine exam. We accept anywhere from $45 to $195 for that service depending on the contract. Outlandish, no?

A few years ago, I saw a top thyroid specialist in NYC. He took one plan - Oxford. I didn't have Oxford. He charged me $500 out of pocket to see him. He would have billed Oxford the same $500 but accepted $125 from them for the same service. Totes not even remotely sensical.

DW Yesterday 11:27 PM
I meant @ Sniper. I'm on a roll today. I'm going to stop posting these epic comments. If anyone has a question about insurance, please ask me. Unfortunately, I know more than I'd like to know. :(

DW 32 minutes ago
@MomTFH, my point about the hair dresser was to show how docs are devalued, not to compare their services, where you have choices, to medicine, where you do not. It was also to demonstrate that as Americans, we have a skewed priority system. And patients expect that once they hand you their insurance ID card, they are abdicated of all financial responsibility. And they are not because roughly 1/3 of the time, there is a non covered service or a deductible or a coinsurance that neither we, no they, are aware of. YES, there are docs who do expensive things JUST for the reimbursement. Some are greedy and some are just tired of constantly fighting the insurance company to receive a fraction of what they bill and what they deserve to be paid. The system is inherently unfair and completely skewed towards profit for the one controlling the checkbook - not in the best interest of patients OR docs.

After being with my sister in labor and delivery twice, I know just how hard C-sections are pushed. At the convenience of the doctor, in her case. Was it necessary? I bet three different docs would give you three different answers. The next baby, she used a mid wife. It was a vaginal birth. Go figure.